Saying he’s “usually a pretty open and accepting guy,” recently Ally Trained Hanszen sophomore Jack Kozinski is also a racist asshole, according to reports. The Well Being Office offers Ally Training to help combat and provide support against the structural hardships that LGBTQ students face on campus. Despite his completion of the program, sources close […]Read More
Posts in category News
In a controversial decision, the administration has decided to eliminate all campus transportation to cut expenses to subsidize its building expenses.
The Dean of Undergraduates, Dr. John Hutchinson, has addressed the situation with an unconventional solution: carrying students to class on his back. Dean Hutch, in a campus wide email late last night, had this to say:Read More
The Rice University Crisis Management Team reminded students to wear warm clothing when they leave for classes today in a statement released early this morning. “Due to the sudden, dramatic drop in temperature Houston is currently experiencing, we would like to encourage students to dress appropriately; snow pants, parkas, and boots would be adequate attire,” […]Read More
According to the new schedule released by the Divine Secretary Gabriel, God will be attending this year’s Family Weekend. “I am incredibly excited to see how my boy is doing!” God said. “I only hear rave reviews about Him. It’s as if He could walk on water or something!!” After taking a tour around campus, […]Read More
The Administration has announced a dramatic increase, going into effect on the 15th, in the cost of on-campus printing, prompting campus-wide protest of the price hike. “After 10 years without an increase, the cost of black-and-white printing on 8.5 x 11 paper is rising one penny per sheet,” reads the death knell of our liberal […]Read More
Coffeehouse added a new drink to its menu this week, giving in to overwhelming demands from both its employees and customers. According to Coffeehouse General Manager Hilary Stevens, the addition of the new drink, called the “iced green tea latte,” has been anxiously awaited by KOCs and patrons alike. Stevens said, “Coffeehouse doesn’t already have […]Read More