After defeating the University of Texas, San Antonio on Saturday, Nov. 1, the Rice University football team (6-3, 4-1 C-USA) became bowl-eligible.
Upon hearing the news, sophomore Max Anderson became enraged with University policy. According to Anderson, athletes should not be allowed to receive special treatment.
“Just because they’re good at scoring home runs or whatever doesn’t mean they’re any better than us,” Anderson said. “If they get to use bowls then damnit, the servery should supply us with some too.”
This comes in the wake of a secret SA Senate meeting which attributed the “necessary sacrifice of 3,200 plastic cups and bowls from the Baker and West serveries to our Supreme Football team.”
The Rice Thresher’s most recent article, to sophomore Rachel Sweeny, appears to be a shallow attempt to shift the student body’s attention. “This is nothing short of a coverup of massive proportions. I hate to use the c-word, but this is blatant example of collusion between our football team and Senate.”
“Look, all I want to do is be able to eat my cereal out of a bowl,” Anderson concluded. “Football wins a game and they get bowls? I pay 50,000 dollars per year to come here; I demand an end to this injustice.”
Rice has its next game against No. 21 Marshall University (9-0, 5-0 C-USA) and will look to improve their bowl chances and continue to compete for a conference title.
Anderson is also hoping to increase his bowl chances, though he seemed unclear on how to approach the issue, which is now being called “Bowlgate” by his peers.
Many remain ambivalent to this news and maintain that Rice should host an annual Bowl game just to have something called the “Rice Bowl.”