HOUSTON, TX – Claiming that “it’s just not worth it,” the Rice University Program Council has decided not to fix the errors associated with the Esperanza Website.
“We’ve been trying to fix the errors repeatedly for the past week,” RPC said in an official statement. “But in the end, we basically decided, fuck it.”
Despite concerns over how students will now buy tickets to the highly-anticipated event, RPC claims that the ticket-buying process will now be simplified.
“The previous method was too difficult anyway,” RPC said. “Now we’re going to have a competition amongst the student body for the tickets, not too different from what you might see in the Hunger Games.”
Those have already purchased tickets will not be issued a refund says RPC, citing the inability to pass a sufficient blanket tax as a reason to steal the money of impoverished college students.
“Fuck off,” added RPC. “Please.”