A new study released Thursday, commissioned by the School of Social Sciences and RPC, has found that 98 percent of Esperanza dates end in marriage.
“This does not come as much of a surprise,” indicates researcher Thomas Fan. “Esperanza only exists to creates these unions. It makes sense: these couples will credit Rice for their marriage and are, thus, more likely to donate back to the university that sparked their romance.”
The administration is aiming to recapture those 2 percent of dates that do not end in marriage by paying for the marriage of the duo with the most creative Esperanza proposal, as decided by Facebook likes on the RPC Presents: Esperanza 2014 event page.
The multi-year study found that Esperanza attendance is closely related with settling down, producing 1 to 2 children, and living the rest of your life with a Rice alumnus as your a significant other.
The dance, which will be held at the Museum of Natural Science early next month, will feature multiple wedding registry booths and mock baby showers.
“Earlier today I asked Thomas to the dance and he said yes,” commented an ecstatic Helen Schieffer. “I am so excited to grow old with him.”