Last week, students across campus were confused and irritated at the controversial decision to limit entrance to the popular Baker College Kitchen to Baker students only.
Joshua Green, Hanszen ‘15, condemned Baker’s decision, saying “Its not just annoying, it’s wrong. You can’t just tell the rest of the school where they can and can’t eat.” Beyond creating an uproar of disdain for Baker, many students are left curious; what do they need that privacy for anyways? What could they be hiding?
“Its probably some cult forming again,” said Martel senior Matthew Brown. “These things pop up a lot,” he went on to say. “I remember last year a group of us tried to have a Martel only party and things got way out of hand. We almost performed a ritual sacrifice on a CompSci major as a virgin offering to our God before we realized what we were doing. College pride can go to your head fast.”
In an interview with The Mockingbird, the Baker Masters claimed these new measures would “help promote Baker spirit, and a sense of devotion. Definitely not gonna turn into a cult,” they said, before they slinked away into the night wearing black hooded robes.
Until Baker decides to open its doors to the unanointed, the rest of us non-believers remain out of luck and hungry. All we can really hope is that they don’t limit access to their great public parties. *snicker*