In a landmark achievement, Baker freshman John Armstrong did not have a single issue with registering for courses on Esther. “I mean, it was pretty easy,” he said, inciting rage and jealousy.
“Like, I don’t know why everyone’s complaining. I mean, I just signed up and it worked. I got everything I wanted and more.”
John Armstrong failed to acknowledge that he was forced to sell his soul to achieve this feat.
Written in collaboration with Michael Portal and Michael Saucedo