The construction of a compensatory eighth floor addition to Sid Richardson College has come to an end just days before students return to the dorm.
“This is a very welcome change to our college and our community, and doesn’t have anything to do with any other shortcomings,” said Sid Richardson senior Joe Smith.
College officials are happy that the project was able to be completed while students were off campus: “We are incredibly excited to welcome more students into Sid Richardson College and hope that those within the college move on past their debilitating emasculation.”
“The new eighth floor will, we hope, mask the unfortunate circumstances that plague all of Sid Richardson and prevent them from living normal lives,” reads the Administration’s statement.
However, some students were not pleased to discover the change. “I can’t believe the Administration allowed the building project to go through,” explains one student from Martel. “Sid needs to stop compensating and confront its problems as soon as possible. This is not helping.”
Sid Richardson College President Tian Fon, who declined to comment, has been seen pacing the new floor while repeating “I am proud of my size” and crying.